Friday, 5 October 2012

Puzzled of Newstead

I don't understand at all how, last year with one cyst, I was on URGENT list and this year, with two AND bleeding inside the cysts, that I aren't.
I was supposed to have that colonoscopy and gastroscopy within 90 days. Which expires today.
I just got a letter informing me that the appointment is next month. I rang and asked about the 90 day thing and was told that it was "an average" - some people are seen sooner and some are seen later than that. And I was one of the ones being seen later...
I don't think that is right but I can't see what is wrong with it. It seems so LOGICAL.
I was also told I could come back to A&E if I felt unwell.
I DO FEEL UNWELL, I feel like crap, I am so tired of pain. I can see why people die on waiting lists. They kill themselves because they feel worthless. I do.

I know there are people out there with private health insurance, who get medical procedures much quicker than this. I wish I had private insurance. But it wouldn't make any difference apparently. I asked the surgeon about going private and he said he didn't want to operate anymore. He said it is too dangerous to do it again cos of where the cysts are located. That didn't stop him last year.
I really I haven't had enough spare money ever for private insurance. I spent a lot of my life bringing up my boys as a single mum and fighting the ex for child support. My boys didn't get overseas trips and private schooling and a home with three bathrooms like his next wife's kids did. Instead we got to fight every inch of the way to survive and I didn't have extra $$$ for health insurance.
And now I am being punished for having brought up lovely sons who benefited for having a mummy who put the as her priority. Maybe I should not have been so unselfish, maybe I should have continued my uni education, or stayed working and let them be latch key kids, and had some money in my super fund. And private health insurance. And a house with bathrooms.
No, I wouldn't swap they way my boys are for any of it.
Except for a little understanding of how the health care system works. I wouldn't mind that. I can always go private The Sweetheart says - he sold his 911 so I could. But I don't want that, besides the surgeon said it wouldn't make any difference, he still wouldn't operate again as it is too dangerous. I don't understand that either. Why wasn't it dangerous last year????

Is that too much to want?????